John late for work.

We had a mechanic John who was a local boy about 20 and still living with his mum. He was always late for work, the workshop had large wooden doors that had a small wicket door in so you could get in and out without opening the main door. Every morning about 15 minutes after we had all arrived the wicket door would slam open and in would come John mumbling about his mum not waking him up or his car wouldn't start.

We decided to have some fun at his expence, Dave came up with a plan. We arrived as usual but instead of putting our overhauls on we stripped off to just wearing our working boots then carried on as if nothing was different. There was a nervous moment when we thought it might be the day for the Michelin girl to call in but we kept our nerve. The minutes ticked by then the wicket door slammed open and in came John muttering as usual, he made it half way to the lunch room before he stopped dead, turned round and said "Oh you lot are F---king mad".

His day didn't get any better. We had a small dog called Sam, it was a female and Sam was short for Slack Arsed Mole. At tea breaks she would hang about and scrounge anything she could. This day she did well and eat so much she was sick on the floor. Not one to miss a chance Fred grabbed two slices of bread dipped the corner of one in the sick slapped them both together and took a big bit out of the other side. It happened so quick John thought he had eaten the sick, he jumpped from his seat rushed into the loo and fetched up his breakfast.